Here is an excerpt from my soon to be published book, The Subject Was Mangoes, a collection of short stories. Wedding Bell Blues is a fun story about the stresses and strains of getting married, and how various family members may behave. Do let me know what you think!
“If there is anyone who has a reason why this man and woman should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now, or forever hold your peace,”
intoned the priest.
“I have a reason,”
said a voice at the front of the church.
A collective gasp resounded through the church.
“I’ve decided that the price tag on this marriage is simply too high,”
continued the bride.
The groom’s jaw dropped open in shock.
“What are you saying? Are you crazy?”
he croaked.
“No, I’m not crazy — it’s going through with this farce that would be crazy,”
she retorted.
“Wouldn’t you like to go to my office and discuss this before making such a rash decision?”
the priest whispered. Nothing he had ever been taught in seminary had prepared him for this.
“Thanks, Father, I understand you’re trying to help. But since you don’t believe in divorce, I’m saving you the trouble of worrying over my immortal soul,”
she replied gently.
“As a matter of fact, I should have done this a long time ago,”
she added.
Tearing the veil from her head and throwing down her bouquet, she calmly walked up the aisle and out the door.
Alone.
After a moment of stunned silence, a veritable babble began from both sides of the church.
“Thank God, she came to her senses…..”
“Didn’t I tell you? She has absolutely no class whatsoever, you’re better off without her….. “
“What the hell did I do?”
The varying expressions of shock, bewilderment and satisfaction were almost comical to see — it was as if someone had delivered a wrong line and all the actors thrown out of synch as a result.
The un/happy results of this special day had been over a year in the making — a year filled with the clashing of almost everyone involved — the in-laws (both sides), friends, coworkers and oh yes — the bride and groom.
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